My Dear Christian girl,
I write to you from a post-evangelical America in which the church has lost much of it’s influence on our culture. To live as a Christian is passe, counter-cultural, and most people have no idea what it looks like. Oh, certainly you can walk into a Christian bookstore and find a plethora of positive, encouraging self-help books below vomit-inducingly-inspirational Thomas Kinkade paintings, many of them outlining the “Biblical way to date” or worse, how to kiss dating goodbye. To quote Tim Keller, the closest we post-evangelicals come to having a pope, “That should be the shortest book in history, because there is nothing IN the Bible about dating! It wasn’t invented yet.” If you have ever suffered through any of these books, I think you will agree with me that contemporary American Christianity has nothing productive to say to those of us young-somethings that live in the real world, not an Amish village (or Christian college, which is pretty much the same thing expectations-wise), but want to get married someday, all the while loving Jesus.
So, I write to you, just a guy who loves Jesus to a girl who loves Jesus, to be truthful and honest about what I am looking for, what confuses or frustrates me, and to discuss whether or not this could work out between us. I don’t claim to have the right answers, but in the dearth of anything helpful from those around us, at least I am trying. I want to know what I should be looking for, whether we should pursue something, and how we can do that. If at all possible, I don’t want to be one of those “disturbingly weird” Christians, but I know that doing things the way of our pagan friends isn’t the right way to go. Where is the balance?
If you can muster the patience to read, would you allow me to present my thoughts on the matter, from a Christian guy to a Christian girl?
A Christian Guy